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Story (13) Lara's Dream

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New Raider

  • "lastronga" is male
  • "lastronga" started this thread

Posts: 16

Location: sittingbourne

TR Platforms: PS3

Currently Playing: soulcaliber IV

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Sunday, August 9th 2009, 12:02pm

Lara's Dream

[ffstory]Lara woke in the middle of the night again. "I don't like that dream," said Lara. She fell back to sleep again and had the same dream. She was standing where she had shot her mother into the eitr. Her father was standing next to her saying the same thing every night. "Why did you do that, Lara? She only wanted to hug you." Then Amanda came in and used her wraith stone to kill her father. "Noooooooooooooooooooooo," Lara shouted.

The next morning Lara started thinking what she could do to get rid of it. Zip was no help at all. All he was saying was "It's just a dream, Lara."
"Well the dream must mean something, Lady Croft. Perhaps you should go back to Helheim and study the pool of eitr," said Winston.
"You're right, Winston. Thank you, your much better than Zip."
"Hey," Zip said. Lara got to Helheim with Zip and Amanda. "I don't see why I'm here" Amanda said. "Because you're in the dream," Lara said back.

They went to the edge of the pool and they saw that there was a pathway down to the bottom. "Lets go." Then Lara saw her mother lying on the floor in her human form. Amelia got up and Lara screamed. "Be quiet dear. I'm only an illusion. I'm so proud of you. What you did was braver than all of the things you have done put together. You have freed me from the curse of Odin, thank you." Amelia disappeared. "What a waste of time," complained Amanda. Lara pointed one of her guns at Amanda's head. "Hey," Amanda said. Lara kicked Amanda's wraith stone, caught it and chucked into the eitr. Before Amanda had time to say anything two thralls came out of the eitr and dragged Amanda into the eitr and there was nothing of Amanda but an ear splitting scream. "Come on, the curse of Odin must be carried on," said Lara.

the end.[/ffstory]

hope you like it. ;-)
Tom Waters:gun


Lara Croft

  • "tombraidergirl" is female

Posts: 21,248

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Friday, August 14th 2009, 11:58am

You should spell check your fiction and add the necessary capitalization, otherwise no one will enjoy reading it.


Fridge Raider

  • "RedHell" is female

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Friday, August 14th 2009, 12:12pm

I second trg's comment about spelling and capitals. The readers you want to attract, aka the ones who will give detailed feedback, will most likely stop reading after a few sentences of this kind. ;-) It's generelly the first aspect mentioned in most how-to's about posting fanfictions.

I read it nevertheless since it's quite short. Maybe a bit too short, it sounds like a summary to me rather than a piece of fiction. The idea with Lara's mother appearing in her dream was nice! But Amanda's behaviour didn't really make sense to me, imho she is not that evil.
"It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept."


Starting Raider

  • "XxTRFan1xX" is male

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Location: Crewe, England

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Sunday, January 9th 2011, 8:55pm

I Aggre With You Two :thumbsup:
:aodlong ' Tomb Raider ' A Survivour Is Born ' :lara: