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Story (13) Party Chatter

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New Raider

  • "Neilcroy" is male
  • "Neilcroy" started this thread

Posts: 28

Location: Lynnfield, MA USA

TR Platforms: Xbox 360

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Sunday, April 12th 2009, 4:14am

Party Chatter

by Neil Burns (Neilcroy)


[ffstory]Lara sat hidden in the tree overlooking the estate as she watched the guests in casual and swimwear enjoy food and drink and music. A gray full OCEAN PACIFIC wetsuit with blue piping down the side encased her voluptous, athletic figure as her bare feet dangled from the branch. As she watched the activities, betrayal and anger toward a certain American treasure hunter burned her insides.


"Who's fucking brilliant idea was this!" Chase demanded as both Tomb Raiders ran through the temple, barely avoiding deathtraps and being persued by undead Mayans with blowguns.
"I don't know," Lara sneered. "Blonde. Yank. Think he's bloody Indiana Jones. Know him?"
"You like fucking with the Grim Reaper, don'tcha, Red? Let me tell you. Tempt him enough and he will come for you."
"I thought he came for me when Von Croy left me in Egypt."
"I heard about that. That was cold."
"Keep running! We're almost there!"
"Tell you what. Let's split up. Confuse them."


"Of course," Lara snarled from her perch. "I get chased to a section that is all deathtraps only to find a bloody makeup room while that bloody Yank makes off with the treasure! In fact, he got it the day before he came to the bloody Manor!"
It turned out that Chase had gone on a couple of very successful, high-paying digs which resulted in his way-more-than comfortable living. Suddenly, the DJ stopped the music.
"And now," he announced. "Would you please welcome our host. A man who needs no introduction. A legend among archeologists and Tomb Raiders alike. A man with
nerves and balls of steel. A heart of a lion. The brain that Albert Einstein would envy--"
"Oh, my bloody God," Lara snorted. "Someone is full of himself."
"The man who can teach Indiana Jones and our own Lady Lara Croft herself, whom we all know and love, a few pointers about how to succeed--"
"How to screw over and betray your colleague you mean, love."
"The man. The myth. The Sex God Himself. CHASE CARVER!"
Suddenly, the theme to GOLDFINGER blared out as Chase Carver strutted into view clad in a white tuxedo with a black shirt and mirrored sunglasses. A grin reeking of cheesiness curved his lips as he stopped and waited for a blonde with tartish makeup and a black too-tight and too-short cocktail dress strolled up and took his arm. They both then regally deigned to meet the guests.
"Chase Carver!" the vocalist sang with a Shirley Bassey warble, "he's the man. The man with the Midas touch. The magic touch. Oh, Chase Carver."
The entrance, plus Chase dancing horribly out-of-rhythm to Flo Rida's "Sugar" and "Poker Face" by Lady GaGa, caused Lara to immediately climb down off the tree so
she could safely collapse to the ground and nearly urinate herself laughing. After many mirth-filled minutes, the Raider stopped and took some cleansing breaths.
"Well," she chuckled. "Given the week I had, I needed a bloody good laugh. Thank you, Mr. Carver."
Having recovered sufficiently, Lara peeked over the shrubbery.
"Thank you, folks," Chase grinned. "I regret that 'personal business' must occupy my time for a while."
The crowed laughed and cheered as the blonde kissed the treasure hunter's cheek.
'That's very bad form, Mr. Carver,' Lara thought with disapproval. 'A good host or hostess always accomodates their guests.'
"But, please. Enjoy yourselves. The party's going all night, so have fun and I will see you all later."
As the couple went inside for their "personal business", Lara stole across the grounds, unnoticed by the partygoers until she stopped by the refreshments
table. Not having had lunch, she grabbed a plate and put a hamburger as well as a piece of barbecue chicked and four ribs on it and took a diet coke. 'I would
not make a steady diet of this, but it's good in a pinch'. She then stole inside the houst and perched herself on the kitchen countertop to enjoy her repast.
Suddenly, the DJ entered.
"Well, hey there, darling," he grinned. "I never saw you here before."
"Hey, sugar," Lara replied in a soft, Southern accent. "I'm a friend of Chase's. I live down the street aways. I heard he was having a party and decided to
drop in."
"I see. Well, he and Darlene are upstairs in his room doing whatever. You want me to tell him you're here?"
"No need, hon. I'll just pop up and say hi myself."
"Okay. Just go upstairs and take a left. His bedroom is straight down the hall Darlene's is straight down the hall in the opposite direction."
"Thanks, honey." Lara kissed his forehead. "Appreciate it."
The DJ nodded and left. Lara finished her lunch and headed upstairs where she walked down the hall to Darlene's bedroom, through the substantial walk-in closet and into
the bathroom on the other side where she peeled off her wetsuit and bikini, dumping them into the tube before entering the walk-in shower. As the hot water cleansed
and relaxed the Raider, she comtemplated prancing into his room stark naked just to see his face as he would try to explain her to Darlene.
"No," Lara smiled to herself. "He'd have a heart attack. Besides, I'm not THAT much of a bitch."
She dried herself off and re-entered the closet to examine the clothing before she decided on a gray midriff-baring top and snug-fitting jeans. She put on her gloves
and gunbelt before padding barefoot down the hall to Chase's room. Lara peeked in and saw an underwear-clad Darlene kneeling on Chase, who lay face down on the
bed while she massaged him.
"I'm sorry, love. This simply will not do at all."
The Raider snuck in and quietly incapacitated the blonde with a Marine sleeperhold, gently removing her from the bed and lay her on the floor. She then knelt on Chase's
back and began massaging. Of course, the American had his iPod on, so he did not notice anything except the stronger, more confident touch.
"Darlene," Chase smirked. "You've been holding out on me. You do know how to do a massage."
Lara merely smiled as she thought of her own massuse Gisel who gave her lessons.
Chase removed his iPod and turned his head slightly.
"You know, I was thinking of 'Lady' Lara Croft," he said with a rather cynical tone to the title. "She is a real pain in the ass sometimes."
The Raider said nothing, but looked forward to hearing Chase's explanation.
"First off, the bitch takes all the high-paying digs, leaving the rest of us with shit. Even worse, she donates them without cashing in. That's fine for her since she's
got Daddy's money to play with so she can fuck around as she pleases. Some of us lowly dregs actually have to work for a living."
The Raider narrowed her eyes at the "Daddy's money" comment, but she did not realize that her activities were affecting others.
"She has this fucking high-and-might attitude and judges people on everything. Yes, I gambled with three hundred thousand of her money and had to use those
coins to pay for it. I had no choice in the matter and I regret it every single day since it happened. Yet, she still holds it over me. It's like Alex with the prayer
wheels. We're human. We make mistakes, yet she acts like Little Miss Perfect."
'Those aren't simple mistakes, Chase," Lara thought, glaring at the back of Chase's head. 'Those were pieces of my soul you and Alex stole from me.'
"Okay. Maybe we're not exactly angels. Me and Al do have standars, you know. Admittedly they aren't that high."
'No they aren't.' Lara thought dryly.
"At least me and Al ain't Marines who would desert their command and risk millions of lives just to make money on something that could wipe out the
human population. Just the fact, Croft thinks me and Al are in th e same league with this Sheridan or whoever he is offends me."
That stung the Raider. What stung more was that the American was correct. Yes, Alex and Chase betrayed her numerous times, but they would have
never risked the world's extinction just for profit.
"The thing is that she is the most annoying, most aggravating, most frustrating, most maddening, most delightful, most amazing woman that I ever
had the pleasure of knowing. She's witty, sarcastic, brilliant, funny. A joy and a pain in the ass to be with. Despite the times I have played her for a
sucker and screw her, the truth is I love her."
Lara smiled. Chase always knew how to touch her soul the right way.
"Of course, she is now seeing this holy man with a tricked out frisbee that slices people in half with just a thought. I ain't going to mess with that. If she
is happy with him, good for him. If and when she gets tired of him, Alex and I are available. Otherwise, not all men are bastards. Especially American men. I do love
her and I would do anything to make it up to her. I just wish that I could tell her in person.
"You just did, love," Lara's voice purred into his ear.
"Lara?!" Chase rose and turned to face the Tomb Raider, adjusting himeself so she was kneeling on his chest, facing him. She glanced briefly at his boxers before
leaning forward smiling, arms folded on his chest.
"Well," Chase mused. "This is an unexpected pleasure. What are you doing here and where is Darlene?"
"Well," Lara smiled, stroking her rival's hair. "I was in the neighborhood and I decided to drop in and say hello. As for your ladyfriend, she is having a lie in."
"I see." Chase raised an arm and stroked the Raider's cheek. She did not refuse, but an arched eyebrow was sole indication that she did not totally approve the gesture. "I missed you, Red."
"It's only been a few months, Chase. I'm still furlous about Chile. Going through a temple full of deathtraps only to find a makeup room?"
"Chile. Yes."
"That's exactly what I am talking about. I'm flattered you think so highly of me, but you apologize, only to do the same shit over and over again. It's like a bloody
broken record."
"Guilty as charged."
"However, you are right. I often forget that not everyone is as fortunate as I am, nor did I realize that my passion affects others."
"Nobody's saying give up your passion, darling. Just leave some high-paying digs for the rest of us mere mortals."
"I'll try, but some things are not meant to be found."
"Like Pandora's Box?"
"Yes, and I suppose I often compare you and Alex to Terry Sheridan. For that I am truly sorry. You two do have standards, extremely low as they are."
"Not everyone is perfect, O Goddess of the Virtues," Chase grinned as he started playing with Lara's loose chestnut tresses.
"Yes, well, I resent the 'Daddy's money' comment."
"That was a low shot. Sorry."
"What am I going to do with you, Chase? You are like Alex. You both talk a good game. You both fuck up, say you're sorry and promise to change, yet you do
the same thing over and over. You're like bloody leopards. You don't change your spots. It's maddening. And please don't say that I have to let go at some point and that you'll do anything to make up for all your betrayals. This my heart and my soul you two steal from every time. Asking you two to change your ways is like asking me to become a bloody nun. It's simply not in my nature."
"Pity," Chase smirked. "You'd make one sexy nun, assuming there is a convent tolerant and stupid enough to take you in."
"Touche," Lara laughed, kissing the American's forehead.
"How's Frisbee Boy?"
"Fine," Lara replied, catching Chase's hand as it lowered toward her denim-clad bottom. "Cheeks and hair are acceptable. My tits and arse are off limits."
"How about--" The American's eyes lowered to Lara's waistline. She grabbed his chin and raised it to face her.
"THAT is definitely off limits."
"Pity." A casual shrug. "Oh, well. A man can dream, can't he?"
The Raider rolled her eyes in exasperation as Chase resumed playing with her chestnut mane.
"First off, it's not a frisbee. It's a glaive."
"Like in that piece of crap film KRULL?" Chase snorted.
"Yeah. Also, the Lux Veritas is not a religious order. They were a secret brotherhood that fought black magic and alchemy."
"Kurtis is the only Lux Veritas left. The others are dead."
A smile crossed the treasure hunter's face as a thought crossed his mind.
"You know, the other day Alex said that you paid him a visit."
"Yes. It was a nice chat," Lara smiled. "I had a few things to get off my chest, no jokes please. A good chance to clear things up."
"You're welcome to stick around. Plenty of food and booze," Chase offered.
"I'm sure the folks will be honored to meet you."
"Unfortunately, I have to fly to Japan in a few hours to attend a seminar. Besides, I already ate."
"Sounds like a party."
"You know that 'entrance' was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my bloody life. And Gene Kelley has nothing to worry about. Thank you for
giving me a bloody good laugh."
"I resent that," Chase mock-pouted. "I worked hard on that entrance."
"Mr. Carver, if you're James Bond, I'm bloody Mother Theresa."
"Nice to meet you , Your Holiness."
"Good bye, Chase!" Lara kissed the American's cheek before getting off.
"By the way, tell Darlene that she is welcome to the wetsuit and bikini in I left in her tub. I figure it's a fair trade for the clothes she let me
borrow. Cheers."
"Cheers. Just remember, Red. You get tired of Frisbee Boy, I'm available."
Lara replied by simply giving him a British sod off gesture and left. She headed down the stairs and exited through the front door, unnoticed by
the party guests.
"God bless Lara Croft," Chase chuckled as he picked up Darlene and placed her on the bed. He covered her with a blanket before he left to join the
other party guests. [/ffstory]


ta-daa. another one in the books. please comment. I'm curious how people here like my tales. also, if there are any talented artists here, I'd be
honored if you could illustrate my tales. peace. :grins
Good luck in your new bed. Enjoy your nightmare, son, while you're resting your head.--


Average Raider

  • "EmEssEn" is female

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Location: Wonderland

TR Platforms: PS2

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Sunday, April 19th 2009, 2:16am

I liked it, very well written!